Sunday, January 16th, 2005
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11:25 pm - Privacy is too much to ask.
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My life isnt just mine. Apparently its the worlds.
I cant wait. 5000 and Im in cali enjoying myself, by myself.
I love my friends and I love people, I just dont understand the world sometimes... I wish people were more understanding and chill.
night ;) hope everyones doing well
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Tuesday, January 4th, 2005
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11:40 pm - COLLEGE???
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http://www.college911.com/express/precog15/results/arts.asp
Jessica, your heart's desire is Design and the Arts
You have a number of attributes that make you an excellent candidate for a design or artistic-related career. You understand how important it is to follow your heart, express your feelings, and do what you love, so it's likely you're already in a design-related field or have created a way to make your non-design-related job more artistic and expressive.
If you're currently stuck in a job that does not allow you to throw your heart into your work, it's likely you're an unhappy soul and are not living your life's purpose. Until you get yourself back on track, the life you dream of may never arrive.
What exactly does this 'dream job' look like? The answer lies in the combination of visions that you have for each of your 5-second lives. If you can find a way to creatively combine the various attributes of each of your dream lifetimes into one career in this lifetime, you'll be well on your way to fulfilling your heart's desire.
cool... and I totally just filled out a bunch of college things to receieve info on college's so maybe I will go.. they have all these grants and things to help with money so its a maybe :) kinda exciting.
I totally would go to college if I could go into an artistic field.. design of some sort.. we'll see :)
goodnighty
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Saturday, January 1st, 2005
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8:16 pm
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You are Deb. You have an entrepreneurial spirit,
plus you know the right way to wear a pony tail
and fannypack without looking like an idiot.
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed
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3:08 am - HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2005!
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I am so ready for this year.. So many changes in store.
Turned 18 the day after Christmas.. finally! :)
Im changing into a new person. and i love it. Ive learned so much recently and am super happy with everything going on... With the exception of being on probation EEK! but itll be over eventually and my life will be 100% great.
I got a tattoo and my nose pierced.. I love them ;) Ill post pics eventually..
hope everyone had great holidays!
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Friday, December 17th, 2004
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1:36 am - I wish I could stop hearing "FAILURE" being subtly screamed in my fucking face.
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If it were so important to YOU that I go to college right now, you would help me pay for it WITHOUT me having to live with you for it. I cant afford it NOR do I want to go right now... well, I do, but only if its the going to a huge university and living in a dorm or a house near campus.. maybe being in a sorority.... but thats way out of my reach, so for now all I want to do is work and save money and plan out where Im going to live when my time is up here(this place is getting torn down in 9 months) and try to make my way out of FL.... Maybe I will take a few classes a semester.. but I dont care if it takes a long time to finish college, I want to have freedom. I want to make my own schedule and have time to focus on improving in my art and take classes Im interested in and enjoy my life. Why THE FUCK would anyone be in a HURRY to get through college. Whats after college? The same job for forever, a hisband and some kids... I dont want that EVER not to mention as soon as possible.. maybe Im just different... I dont want what everyone else wants....
Have you ever felt like you have so many dreams and aspirations that you dont even know where to get started... Life is short and there is so much I want to do... I want to experience everything. I dont want to go to college yet, I want to live freely and be happy... enjoy my time.
I wish I could stop hearing "FAILURE" being subtly screamed in my fucking face.
I will make something of myself. Even if its not a fucking desk job lame ass married woman with kids bullshit. I dont want marriage, or kids, or a 9-5. I want to be HAPPY and enjoy my life and be successful, but maybe a different kind of success. I want to paint and write and design and travel and take pictures and just let my mind flow and be as creative as it can.. i want to open a store one day and make or design everything in it... I want so many things and because of the choices Ive been making all Im hearing is that I will fail and end up as trailor trash pregnant and cracked out, but thats not it at all... i want to be so many great things, I guess they are just not what everyone hoped for me..... I wish I didnt have to feel like I was always letting people down and being a disappointment.... I wish I could make people proud. I wish my dad could look at me and see what I see for myself... I feel like I should feel bad for not doing what everyone says I should.. but i just want to listen to myself and do what I want... thats why I moved out, why would I do anything different. Moving out has given me the opportunity to find myself and be free... i want that for forever. I just want to be happy.. we dont even know whats after this life, what if its something shitty? I want to live this life as good as I can... I never want any regrets. i hate regretting... i love living in the moment because you always have fun.... its impossible to really regret anything when you had fun doing it.---think about it...
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Monday, December 13th, 2004
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3:49 am
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These are my new ones so switch them in your buddy list and what not.
HitsBeautifully @ hotmail.com and @yahoo.com
and AIM: HitsBeautifully
time for a change...and I like it :)
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12:41 am
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Everything is crazy.. Im going through so many different things. Im feeling so many different emotions and surprise Im having a hell of a time dealing with it all...
But good things are going on... Ive been extremely down lately but its almost like I dont have a reason to be.. everything is awesome Im just in a slump... Im trying to figure out what I want to do in life.. Its getting to be that time...
I have some plans and I might just run with them.. I love experiencing different things and I never want to be a 9-5 desk job person.. I dont know if I want to go to college but I do know I have many goals...
Its just rough figuring out where to start...
I have court on wednesday.. should be a blast.. I just hope it all goes down as lightly as possible... I have an extremely stressful week coming up so if I bitch at you I apologize in advance....
Lately tears have been begging to burst but Ive been holding them back... Im at one of those places in life where your constantly surrounded by people but you feel completely alone....
more tomorrow its late..
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Monday, November 29th, 2004
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12:36 pm - Life is CRAZY!
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So my world went upside down crazy for a while there.. things are finally going to chill out though. Everything will be going back to normal soon.
Normal.. but not NORMAL normal.. Im moving out of the apartment Ive been living in since I moved out of my parents and moving in with my friend Patrick at this guy Kennys.. It will be kick ass b.c I chill there all the time and Terrah comes with and its really cool so it will be better.....
Anyways going to get some free gas from the radio station.. or something.'
FLYING!
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Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
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12:19 pm - one of those memories you just say DAMN.
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Last night was motha fuckin awesome...
hotels... and eh.. rolling with the homeys? ha
and all i can say is WOW.
and that what they say about MMhMm and MmmhMm is truuuuuuuuuuue.... ha my ladies know what Im talkin about.
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Monday, September 27th, 2004
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12:44 pm - MMmmm life is good.....
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Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
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4:59 pm
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I'm not falling apart
I dont mind
Falling in the water
No one ever notices me
I lay under the waves
I dont mind
Falling in the water
No one ever notices me
I lay under the waves
-------------------------------
"Shiver"
You build me up
You knock me down
Provoke a smile
And make me frown
You are the queen of runaround
You know it's true
You chew me up
And spit me out
Enjoy the taste
I leave in your mouth
You look at me
I look at you
Neither of us know what to do
[Chorus:]
There may not
Be another way to your heart
So I guess I'd better find a new way in
I shiver when I hear your name
Think about you but it's not the same
I won't be satisfied 'till I'm under your skin
Immobilized by the thought of you
Paralyzed by the sight of you
Hypnotized by the words you say
Not true but I believe 'em anyway
So come to bed It's getting late
There's no more time for us to waste
Remember how my body tastes
You feel your heart begin to race
---------------------------
"She Will Be Loved"
Beauty queen of only eighteen
She had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her
She always belonged to someone else
I drove for miles and miles
And wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow
I want more
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore
It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along
My heart is full and my door's always open
You can come anytime you want
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
She will be loved
I know where you hide
Alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls
Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
[in the background]
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Yeah
[softly]
I don't mind spending everyday
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Try so hard to say goodbye
----------
Maroon 5 has really pretty lyrics.... Ive only heard She Will Be Loved of those but I like the other lyrics...
I love you guys...
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Sunday, August 29th, 2004
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2:55 pm
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Yeah.. some bs quiz things.. but I have to do something. Im tired of wondering...
I know whats the smart thing to do, but isnt it a bitch when your heart wont let you?
Getting over it, which is good... Im tired of hurting b/c of this..
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2:53 pm - wish I had some answers...
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Take the quiz: "Where do you 2 stand?"
...Sex BuDDiEs...
hum...isn't it obvious that you guys are just in it for the sex?? well that's what I see.. not to be mean or anything.. but if... you seriously feel something,.well... nothing like a good
Take the quiz: "Is your b/f or g/f cheating?"
Total cheater!
Woah get urself a new g/f or b/f CHEATER!
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Sunday, August 22nd, 2004
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2:19 pm
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On another note...
Life is kick ass.. Everything is going great.. Hopefully getting a job sometime this week.. grounded for getting caught skipping school so this weekend was full of sleep and not much else.. Hung w/ Colby for a little bit yesterday but other than that just been chillin at the house... Of course I missed some kick ass parties but oh well.. Hopefully Ill be off by next weekend and I can get my fun on!
Definitely going to Shipwreck Sat and MS sat night w/ Terrah and probably Blake and Dave but whoever else wants to come is welcome to, I want to get a bunch of people together and have a good ole' time.. so that will be fun..
Parents are moving down next few weeks so Ill be moving into the woodlawn house with them sometime before the end of Sept.. Itll be cool to have the family back together but honestly Im not that stoked.. I like having more freedom and my life has been 100% awesome since Ive been living in the King house but Ill probably be moving out in January anyway so I can deal with living with my family until then.. Unless its changed for the good (which it supposedly has b/c my dad is on heart meds and has to chill out) but we shall see!
Need to start swimming, still have not gone.. No motivation to do so but definitely will this week.
Have an interview with hot topic on monday, we'll see how that goes... Im geussing Ill probably end up working either there or at poFolks, which would be tons of fun, working with Devon and Lauren. just have to wait and see I guess :)
Layed out yesterday, then washed my car in my bathing suit and then mowed the lawn in my bathing suit and sneakers.. FUNNY SIGHT let me tell you... Seeing some chick mowing the lawn in a bikini and sneakers, it would make ya laugh. I figured Colbys dad would drive by and Id never hear the end of it, but luckily no one passed by so it was cool. Colby said I should have taken a pic b/c it would have been cute.. Cute? lol.. I imagine Julie probably did take a pic, she said she was gonna call all my friends and tell them to come over and laugh at me.. haha
I got a pretty nice tan so it was good. Face got kinda burnt but give it a day and itll be nice.
Been working on learning my lines for an act me and Jenna are doing in acting... Ive never had to learn lines or be in a play before (not since I was little anyway)so its an experience.. I really like it a lot... its a ton of fun :)
And I finally finished my newspaper article.. its on teen pregnancy if anyone would like to read it let me know and Ill email it to you, I need some advice b/c Ive never written anything like that before and I dont know if its good or not..
Ummm anyway life is good Im waiting for school... School is the highlight of my life right now, me and hollie were discussing what losers we are b/c school is the most exciting thing we do right now.. but what can ya do..
gonna go work out! bye loves!
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1:49 pm
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1:46 pm
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Monday, August 16th, 2004
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6:21 pm
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Did something totally crazy and AWESOME this weekend.... Yeeahh best time of my LIFE.
Basically Ive just been having a good ass time...
Gotta get a job... I walked out of Roadhouse 2 weeks ago and have been living it up.. but my money is dimishing and I have a 300$ oil leak in my car that needs fixing SOOOO a job it is...
Hot Topic is a big maybe... I talked to Lee and he seemed pretty cool so Im putting in an App. and we shall see ;)
Working with Blake would be KICK ASS he cracks me up.. And everyone in there is pretty cool...
ahh more later gotta go
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Tuesday, August 10th, 2004
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7:21 pm
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Life is good... Everything is pretty awesome at the moment... Schools great.. Feel very welcomed and loved.. Apparently I was missed which is cool.. I love this town.. I just love everyone in it..
Went through a bit of a tough time with Colby this weekend... but we're cool now..
Doing something I havent done before this weekend.. Maybe.. Probably.. We'll see ;)
Okay Im watching this gymnastics thing w/ all my favorite gymnasts.. so later
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Thursday, August 5th, 2004
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5:59 am
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I am SO stoked... School starts today and I am massively excited...
Senior year... Back in PC... Back at Arnold- my most favorite school (and believe me, Ive tried em' all!)... Im just HAPPY finally...
Everything in life is beautiful... And something potentially could be AMAZING...
WOW.
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Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
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8:01 pm
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Wow life has been crazy!
The past two days have been the best ever...Especially today! :)
didnt go to sleep til 9 this morning and only slept for 2 hours... but had the best time in my LIFE so it was way worth it... and its amazing how funny things are when your sleep deprived..
Corams at 3 am is the funniest shit ever.. everyone in there is as messed up as you! lol
At the moment I am about to CRASH but I want to go out tonight since its the last night and all....
School starts Thursday..thinking about getting a bunch of people to skip and go to Vortex or something..
Yours truly spent 500$ on school clothes... mostly skirts and pants tho.. need some more shirts..
Ive been warned about something and I know to follow the advice.... but sometimes doesnt your heart just kill your logic?? Damn me...fuckin sap ...
My bro got in town today.. he's staying w/ his friend on the beach...
gonna go find something to do tonight.... later
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